Humor in the Mist of Crisis

For almost 27 years I worked as a therapist, working with children, families and couples. During this time I have heard many stories from people involving disappointment, pain, depression, anger, etc. but the universe has a sense of humor and often presented itself during my sessions with my clients. For example, one evening I was meeting with a family that was being torn apart by the 14 year old daughter’s behavior which consisted of stealing, some drug abuse, and failing school grades. The parents, especially the father wanted the daughter to be sent to a boarding school and the mother as well as the daughter expressed anger and defiance to the father. During the peak of this heated session, the power in the building went off and all the lights went black. The room we were in was small and had no window so both the parents and the daughter got up to trying to find the door when they all ended up bumping in to each other and eventually just hung on to each other, at that moment the lights came back on and this family had their arms around each other for a moment just stared at each other and then started laughing. I just remained seated and allowed them that moment. The energy in that room changed instantly and when the family sat back down the father spoke about his love and concern for his daughter and as he spoke the daughter reach her arm out to him and touch him as he spoke. If the lights had not gone out there would have been a very chance this young girl would have either be sent to a boarding school or worst, continued her defiant behaviors and continued to be self destructive. But thanks to a failed breaker circuit, a father and daughter found each other again in the darkness and I’m happy to say continued to have a healthy father daughter relationship there after.

Some of the most profound insights about ourselves and others comes from humor. It as if we allow those defenses such as anger, fear, disappointment, or envy is released by the power of laughter. I have seen so many changes in people who allowed themselves to see the humor in their lives. We take so many things seriously, we worry, become obsessed, even neurotic at times over things that usually could be resolved if we just take the time to stop, breath and think it through. We are emotional creatures trapped in our own constraints of anxiety and worry, yet we have the capacity to laugh and see humor in ourselves. Erica Long once said, "Humor is one of the most serious tools we have for dealing with impossible situations." Humor allows us to keep things in perspective. When we immerse ourselves in a crisis, we are unable to differentiate the feelings about the crisis from the internal feelings of personal identity.